Helping Children Find Their Voice
Hello again, Friends!
There are a lot of voices telling us what to think and do. An example is the cacophony of voices shrilly hawking their opinions as “fact,” and nearly drowning the voices of reason during this political season. It takes strength not to be overwhelmed by the “sound and fury” of it all.
Do any of you remember civility? Has politeness gone the way of the dinosaur? Certainly not! The following commentary, from the New Vision Church women’s ministry (Bowie, MD), discusses guiding children through the process of finding their voice. Please engage in this discussion by leaving a comment. Thank you and enjoy!
Back in “old school” days, children were expected to be seen and not heard. Grown folks’ conversation was off limits. Today these traditions may seem out–dated and unrealistic. While very strict parenting of yesteryear may be too rigid in the 21st century, parenting today can go to the other extreme of being too liberal or too lax. Today children are encouraged to express themselves; but unchecked self-expression easily becomes contemptible and disrespectful.
We want our children to be polite, poised and assertive. How do we, as Christian women, help our charges to find their voices, their appropriate self-expression? What tools can we use to teach our children to properly respond to authority as we mold them into confident, productive citizens?
Children’s language skills form early. We smile and coo when infants babble. When toddlers form their first words, we cheer and applaud. What we find exciting and praise-worthy early on, can become irritating as children’s expressions change from cute and funny to rude and demanding.
What happened, why the change from joyful excitement to short-tempered annoyance? The stresses of life– life-draining fatigue, not enough resources, and a host of other demands that frame our world happened. We want to engage our little ones, but sometimes we are so overwhelmed that we just want a little solitude and quiet…just a few minutes of blessed silence. So in our fatigued, stressed humanity we shut out our children’s voices. Being the smart children we raised them to be, they eventually get the message and stop talking…they lose their voice. The incessant talking finally has stopped and we have the quiet we wanted; but what have we lost? What price have we paid for this blessed silence? Can we ever recover the joy of engaging our children in happy conversation? Will they ever want to talk to us again?
There is hope! With love, prayer, a little imagination and patience, we can once again enjoy talking with our children, and hopefully, they will reciprocate. We can help them regain their voice. Let’s start with common ground. What hobbies, interests, or talents does your child have that you are or might become involved in? While “techie” kids enjoy laughing at our struggles with technology, they also may enjoy teaching mom a new tech skill or help her upgrade an old one. Become the student and be sure to praise your “teacher.”
Enter into your child’s world of play. Have fun! Be silly. Let the child in you connect with your child (even eye-rolling teenagers like to laugh now and then). Finally, pray with your child. Better yet, let your child pray for you. Stumbling though their words may be, children will gradually become skilled in prayer, and as their skill level rises, so will their confidence. Praying and playing with our children, nurturing their gifts and talents, modeling Christ-like behavior—all of these are needed to help the next generation find their voices and boldly raise them to proclaim the gospel of the Kingdom of God.
“Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts;
let them proclaim your power.” Psalm 145:4 (NTL)
“Let this be recorded for future generations,
so that a people not yet born will praise the Lord. “ Psalm 102:18 (NTL)
Related articles
- How To Teach Your Child Good Manners (housewifesutopia.com)
A Personal Introduction
Forgive me for doing this backwards, for giving a personal introduction later rather than sooner. For some reason, I don’t like to talk about myself. Please bear with me as I get over this tendency. My personal introduction follows. Thank you for your patience.
Being a coal miner’s daughter from Laing, West Virginia is as different from being a writer of children’s books as night is from day. Yet, I am both. I was content living a rough-hewn, invisible life in Laing in the early 1950’s. I was happy walking through tall meadow grasses. I gladly spent hours peering at crawling bugs and watching big clouds sailing across perfect blue skies.
That all changed and my happy world was shaken when suddenly we packed up and without warning left the only place I ever remembered feeling safe.
The details of why Daddy forsook the coal mines for points north escape me. I only know that I, along with the rest of our clan, gave up West Virginia’s wild beauty for the dust, grime and fearful noise of concrete city streets.
Years later, after starting my own family, I discovered the writer inside of me, first as a journalist in the Virgin Islands and later as a speechwriter for a local politician in Atlanta, Georgia.
As life shifted me from place to place and job to job, I finally settled down long enough to start the first of many drafts for my debut novel, The Children’s Kingdom.
I had no idea what I was doing; and to this day, I am stunned that I wrote a book that I feel can actually help children discover their personal treasury of gifts and talents and help uncover their purpose. Even as I write this, I know this is huge. It is more than I feel equipped to handle. I don’t know if I am being presumptuous in thinking I have written something that children (and adults) will want to read and perhaps share with others. I only know that I felt compelled to write and publish this book, even though I didn’t want to.
Moving forward, I still marvel that this little girl with the turned- up braids and happy smile grew up to be a storyteller, a writer of children’s books. Although I have only completed one book so far, I know many more are inside of me pushing to get out. At sixty-three I am looking forward to more adventures. The little girl with the turned-up braids and big smile occasionally comes out and laughingly invites me to play—to once again walk through tall, grassy meadows and gaze with wonder at the clouds sailing against perfect blue skies.
Not only do babies fascinate me, but also, I believe they are heaven’s greatest teachers.
I love to watch their responses when they discover new things, like bubbles in their bathtub, or their first taste of ice cream. Their excitement over simple things that we take for granted is a source of pure delight.
Babies radiate unconditional love. They don’t hold a grudge if you don’t change their smelly diapers or don’t feed them on time.
Babies are smart, strong-willed and persistent. They figure out a way to get what they want. When told “no,” about something she wants, my sweet granddaughter will go from person to person until she gets a “yes.” If she doesn’t get the “yes” right away, she just keeps working at it.
Babies’ determination to walk inspires me. It does not matter how many times they fall on their little bottoms, they get up, wobble on unsteady feet, and try again and again, and again. They will use tables, chairs, other people, and whatever else is available for mobility; and they don’t ask permission–they just do it.
Among the other wonderful things about babies, is that they don’t worry about who is looking, how foolish they may look, or whether someone is judging them. Babies are not ego-driven. They don’t worry about other people’s opinions. They don’t procrastinate. They don’t make excuses for failure. They just focus on what they want, and they go for it (sometimes to our chagrin).
What I find most incredible, however, is how these little miracles adapt to our world. Consider this: at birth, they are helpless and totally dependent, unable to speak our language, and unschooled in our customs. They are not deterred by any of these things; but instead overcome every obstacle in their path. Is that amazing or what?
Could it be that babies are among our greatest teachers? Could it be that God uses babies to teach us lessons about life? Perhaps this is why Jesus said, “… The Kingdom of God belongs to people who are child-like.” (Lk. 18:16) To paraphrase, I would say the Kingdom belongs to people who:
- delight to discover new things.
- love unconditionally.
- appreciate life’s simple pleasures.
- persistently focus on what they want.
- are not ego-driven.
- don’t make excuses for failure.
- overcome obstacles.
- totally depend on God.
- seek the King of kings and His Kingdom.
In closing, I encourage you to study your babies as you cuddle them and kiss their sweet faces. Most of all rejoice in the great things you will learn today about yourself and about the Kingdom from some of heaven’s greatest teachers!
Talk with TV Show Host About The Children’s Kingdom
Welcome Back!
Wow, I had such a great time talking with show host, Akinwale Ojomo of Global Culture Media, that I just had to share this YouTube link with you.
We talked briefly, but thoroughly, about my book, The Children’s Kingdom, being featured at the upcoming Book Lovers’ Expo at the Bowie Senior Center, Bowie, MD on August 18, 9:30 a.m.
This is a FREE Family Friendly Event that is not to be missed. Looking forward to seeing you there!
Don’t have 30 minutes to view the whole program? No problem! Just move your cursor to right to 18:04 on the video timer.
This will bring you to start of my interview–18 minutes and 4 seconds into the program. Enjoy!
childrenskingdom 